Sunday, 27 December 2009

How Five Fingers Turned Me into a Transvestite

It's cold in the UK at the moment. Brass monkey weather.

Walking though the city recently, I was aware of a gaping hole in my insulation. Whilst my feet were kept warm by snugly-fitting Vibram Five Finger Treks and my legs by fleece-lined trousers, in between there was nothing. A whistling gale sliced across my ankles like a razor.

I was passing a ladies' accessories shop, when it struck me.

Have you got any leg warmers? I enquired within.

Over here, pointed the young lady assistant, coming out from behind the desk in spite of the I-don't-want-help vibes I thought I was giving.

Before us lay an array of multi-coloured Cindy Lauper-esque leg warmers.

She, ahem, wants them in plain black, I said.

The girl removed a pair from the display. We've only the fishnets in plain black, she said.

I looked doubtful, but she grinned encouragingly. Go on - girls like a bit of kinky!

Okay, I said weakly. My deception had left me unable to reason convincingly.

Later, under the scrutiny of my compadrés, I was naturally subject to ridicule. You're gay, was the sing-song verdict of one. Another emailed this YouTube link.

Ridicule I can tolerate, but cold ankles I simply won't stand for.

8 comments:

gallier2 said...

Why don't you take regular socks of which you snipped the end off so that they still fit in the wibrams?

Methuselah said...

gallier2 - yes, this did cross my mind... but neither Mrs M nor I are great with sewing, without which I think the cut ends would quickly deteriorate. I think I will first of all continue the search for leg warmers that are a little less 'kinky' ;-)

Anna said...

I'm a knitter so I could knit leg warmers in my sleep. But with my San Diego winter, leg warmers are not generally necessary. But my VFF classics and sprints are not really warm enough this time of year, even here, so I haven't been wearing them much. I'm thinking about getting a pair a size larger in the KSO style so I can wear toe socks with them.

Methuselah said...

Anna - when I bought the Treks I actually went up a size, thinking I would then be able to wear the socks, but when they came I realised that in fact the others had been too small and now I had the right size for not wearing socks. Of course if one wanted to wear thick hiking socks, then perhaps two sizes would be necessary (not even sure they do thick socks.) I wonder whether there will at some point be Five Fingers boots on the market, that have an ankle component as well...?

Don said...

Vibram does have ankle-high five-finger socks...

http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/products_injinji_socks.cfm

Methuselah said...

Thanks Don - I think I need to get the size up to be able to fit socks inside, but I may try that for my next pair...

Lightning said...

I had no idea you were going to go public on this one M .
And did you join that pole dancing club I sent you the link for ?

Methuselah said...

It's good exercise, that pole dancing.

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