Sunday, 28 December 2008

The 5 Least Likely New Year Resolutions for 2009

Linda Van Horn, Chair of the USDA-appointed 2010 Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee

In 2009 I am going to turn the USDA food pyramid on its head by persuading my committee to stop recommending people's diet include so much brown, starchy carbohydrate. I can see the evidence is starting to point towards a sea change in nutritional best practice and rather than wait for the bureaucratic oil-tanker to turn around I intend to set the cat amongst the pigeons by arguing vehemently against the compromising of my committee's objectivity by the agricultural department and industry lobbies.


Andrew Wadge Chief Scientist at the UK Food Standards Agency

In 2009 I am going to stop publishing the eatwell plate on our website and ask my people to review the evidence for its composition. I have realised that the recommendation for bread, rice and pasta as a huge proportion of the ideal diet is based not on evidence but history - we've always eaten food in those proportions therefore it must be the right diet. I know I will probably lose my job because there will be outrage and confusion, but I am going to do it anyway because I know the long term health benefits to emerge from the mayhem will in the long term make it worthwhile.


Jeffrey Kindler, CEO of Pfizer

In 2009 I am going to re-think Pfizer's business model. We will no longer base our strategy on the bottom line, which I recognise is driving practices not always in the best interest of public health. Instead, we will focus on what is genuinely in the best long term interest of the consumer, namely prevention through improved nutrition. I realise this has very little commercial potential compared to the market for drugs to treat the symptoms, but believe that by reinventing ourselves as a new, more ethical breed of drug company we will make the world a better place and set a precedent other companies may follow.


Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe

In 2009 am going to take early retirement and begin a career writing children's books.


Osama bin Laden, leader of Al Qaeda

In 2009 I am going to turn myself in. I am sick of living in caves and my friend Ahmed told me they have running water and cable at Guantanamo.

6 comments:

Joseph said...

Nice post. You're certainly correct. I can think of a lot more...

Joe

Enrique said...

Well, at least Linda looks relatively fit.

Anna said...

:-)

My Year Without said...

Yikes. What's scary is that you're really on to something.

Pfizer? I got my hands on this great book, "Selling Sickness" by Ray Moynihan and Alan Cassels that I think you might enjoy. It's an informative expose on the pharm industry, a quick read, and supplied with references.

What is your 2009 New Year's resolution?

Kat Eden said...

I must have pre-NYE brain, for a few seconds I thought these were REAL resolutions that you'd found and I was mighty impressed!

Just imagine what would happen if people in those top food recommendation positions actually did decide to unearth and promote the truth. Reality? It's not impossible, is it? I remember a time when I told all my clients to eat plenty of starchy carbs and minimal fat. Sure, I'm no govt scientist, but hey, people do change. The way I blog these days is literally at the other end of the spectrum from what I used to preach.

Blogs like Pay Now Live Later are one of the greatest tools to spread the word and maybe someday a person of great influence will stop and think twice about what they read on this or similar blogs.

Happy NY to all!

Methuselah said...

MYW - thanks for the tip - I'll look that book up. I don't do new year resolutions anymore - the timing never seems to be right, so I tend to make various resolutions through the year instead. Do you have one? Another year without sugar perhaps? ;-)

Kat - I fear that the more powerful a person, the less likely they are to make career-destroying decisions by revealing the truth. I think this is partly because they know the truth already but don't care, and sometimes because to get into such a position of power they are likely to be far too shrewd to let their scruples get in the way. However, if a larger number of less powerful people can change the message (doctors, nutritionists, fitness experts) then collectively they will be enough to turn the tide, so for example your own change of heart will surely make a difference.

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